I don’t see myself the way you see me, we have different perspectives, they in no way resemble eachothers. When you tell me I’m beautiful and I can’t help but dismiss it. I’m not looking for attention, I genuinely don’t believe that I am. I can’t comprehend how anyone could find me beautiful. I don’t think I am loveable, I am broken. So broken my sharp edges and cracks slightly show through the mask I put on everyday.
There will be days I don’t want to do anything at all. Days that I feel so worthless and that all I do is get in the way, I will be withdrawn and dissociative. It isn’t that I am bored or uninterested, I am to numb to make sense of any emotion.
Be patient with me and try to understand how hard I am trying to pretend I am okay. I don’t feel like I deserve love and might push you away. It isn’t on purpose it’s a defense mechanism built from years of lack of self worth.
I might be self destructive. You might find me crying on the floor holding my arm. Don’t get mad at me. Just hold me and tell me everything will be okay. Please don’t leave me because of this I am trying so hard to be okay. Please try and remember on the bad days that I love you.
How can you tell if a girl doesn’t love herself?
- Always putting herself down.
- History of unhealthy relationships and friendships with toxic people.
- Always put others first.
- Have a constant sense of self doubt.
- Unable to accept compliments.
- Blame themselves for everything.
- Self destructive behavior.
- Depends on others for happiness.
- Compare themselves to others.
No matter how much I might “face hide” when you tell me how much you love me. And how I can’t just take a compliment without arguing with you. Please promise To not stop loving me.
Things to know before dating the girl who hates herself:
- You will have to put effort in.
- She will say okay even when she’s not
- Somedays she will complain nonstop
- Inability to accept compliments
- Needs space sometimes
- She will feel like she doesn’t deserve you.
- She keeps her guard up